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Writer's pictureMarlane Ainsworth

How To Bless Someone

Speak soul to soul. Or if that's too hard, just be kind.


A gravel track wending between karri and peppermint trees, bordered by wild grasses, with golden late afternoon light bathing the distant view and trees.
The track that leads to Evergreen which reminds me of the old Irish blessing: "May the road rise up to meet you . . . " Photo by Rob.

Most of us think that blessings can only come from God.

 

But after reading Benedictus: A Book of Blessings, by the Irish poet and philosopher John O’Donohue, I’ve changed my mind.

 

This book gives me the impression that the Irish seldom open their mouths without issuing a blessing to the person they’re with.

 

What a way to live! Blessings every way we turn!

 

It has been a revelation to me, a shock to my system. This is because I’m Australian and Australians don’t go around blessing each other.

 

In parting, we may whack someone on the shoulder and say gruffly, ‘All the best, mate!’ but we’d never say, as the Irish do:

 

May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face; The rains fall soft upon your fields; And, until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

 

If someone said that here, the recipient of this blessing would more than likely call an ambulance for a suspected case of delirium in the speaker.

 

But I’d love someone to say something like that to me every now and then.

 

This sort of unexpected blessing would warm my heart and brighten my eye. Make me feel not so alone while I trudge the bumpy road of life. As O’Donohue so eloquently phrases it (2007, p. 14):

 

The word blessing evokes a sense of warmth and protection; it suggests that no life is alone or unreachable.

 

It would be comforting to be reminded that I’m not alone.

 

Who Can Give a Blessing?

 

According to O’Donohue, anyone can give a blessing.

 

I can bless people and people can bless me.


Anyone has the power to bless when they speak from their soul (p.216):

 

When you bless another, you first gather yourself; you reach below your surface mind and personality down to the deeper source within you, namely, the soul. Blessing is from soul to soul.

 

To bless someone, I don’t need to be ordained, wear an ornate robe, sprinkle holy water around, or put my usually cold hands on their bowed head.

 

All I must do is speak from my soul.

 

How to Speak from Our Soul

 

How do I speak from my soul?

 

Usually, thoughts pop up in my surface mind based on what I’m seeing or hearing, and then these thoughts somehow find their way down to my throat and I say them. I doubt my soul has anything to do with this process. It’s all mental.

 

When I talk to someone, my head talks to their head.

 

Most of what I say is automatic, reactive, and habitual. I know what I’m going to say – because I’ve said it all before.

 

But giving a blessing is a different matter.

 

A blessing comes from deep space, a place inside me that I seldom access. It’s a sincere and heartfelt place. The words that emerge from this place fit the moment. They meet the need. They come from my soul and touch their soul.

 

Wherever one person takes another into the care of their heart, they have the power to bless.
To bless someone is to offer a beautiful gift. When we love someone, we turn towards them with our souls. And the soul itself is the source of the blessing. (p. 217 – 218)

 

A blessing emerges when I am present and silent long enough for me to take another person into the care of my heart.

 

Too often I’m too quick to assess a situation or judge a person based on what I already know.

 

To give a blessing, I need to stop knowing and start sensing.

 

I need to sink into my soul so I can meet theirs.

 

A blessing doesn’t override or ignore a difficult situation. It steps right into the middle of it and speaks words that can help.

 

The blessing speaks to the soul of the receiver and enables them to find what O’Donohue calls the hidden fruit of the negative (p. 216).

 

For the one who believes in it, a blessing can signal a start of a journey of transformation. (p. 218).
When you bless someone, you literally call the force of their infinite self into action. (p. 217).

 

After reading these evocative words several times, I sense that I have rarely blessed anyone, if at all.

 

It seems a hard thing to do.

 

I am seldom in my soul.

 

Not All Blessings Are Spoken

 

But then O’Donohue wrote:

 

Perhaps we bless each other all the time, without even realizing it. When we show compassion or kindness to another, we are setting blessing in train.

 

Ah, kindness.

 

Kindness, now, that is something I’ve tried to touch others with, and they’ve touched me with it countless times.

 

A blessing doesn’t have to be invoked in words.

 

When I don’t trust my words to come from my soul, I will be kind instead.

 

A blessing need not be spoken.

 

I will keep O’Donohue’s words by me, so that one day, hopefully soon, I will be present, and still, and silent enough to sink into my soul and speak- perhaps my first - blessing.

 

In the meantime, I’ll find countless ways to be kind.

 

Bless you.

 

Marlane

  

 

Reference


O’Donohue, John. Benedictus: A Book of Blessings. (2007). London: Random House.


 

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