How to Bless Someone

A blessing is better than a hope

Here is a blessing for you, prompted by this scene at Evergreen. May you come across an unexpected sight today that will stop you in your tracks and fill you with wonder.

I’ve noticed lately how often I use the expression – I hope – especially in casual conversations or text messages.

I hope you’re well!

Hope to see you soon!

Hope your dental visit turns out okay!

Hope you have a safe trip!

I fling hope through the airwaves with careless ease. It has a nice ring to it as I say or type it. It sounds like I care, like I want the best for the other person. 

But what does I hope mean?

The origin of the word carries the meaning of trust (that something will happen) or desire (that something will happen).

When I write or say things like, I hope you’re well, I hope to see you soon, I hope the dental visit turns out okay, or I hope your trip is a safe one, there’s an unspoken implication that this may not be the case. In reality they may be sick; I may never see them again; the dentist drill may slip; the plane may develop serious engine problems. So why do I say these things? What is the point? In these circumstances, what does my hope do?

My hope does three meaningless things.

• It makes me look good because I obviously want the best for others, even if I don’t do anything towards that result, except effortlessly hope.

• It helps lessen my worry because the word hope sounds positive. It lulls my manic mind’s thoughts about what could go wrong.

• It sprinkles a bit of sparkly, imaginary magic over the receiver as I envisage myself in the role of a fairy godmother waving a cardboard wand coated with golden glitter.

In other words, my hope is meaningless. It doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t do anything useful.

Is there a better way to approach my communications with others? Can I make them more meaningful?

Maybe.

There Is Power in a Blessing

What comes to mind is John O’Donohue’s book, Benedictus: A Book of Blessings. After reading it I realised that blessing someone is more effective than mouthing meaningless hopes.

But how can I bless someone? It seems an audacious thing to do. I’m not God, a pope or a bottle of champagne smashed on a ship’s bow. I’m just little me, less than a quintrillionth of a speck in time and space. How dare I think I have the power to bless.

However, according to O’Donohue, to bless someone is simple. Anyone can do it. On page 216 he wrote:

What do you bless with? Or where do you bless from? When you bless another, you first gather yourself, you reach below your surface mind and personality, down to the deeper source within you, namely, the soul. Blessing is from soul to soul.

If I want to bless someone, I don’t just think about them and rattle off a few casual words.

First, I gather myself together – become present – so I can hold them in my soul. Then they become present with me. They become part of the blessing process. It’s not just me involved. A blessing takes two.

On page 217 O’Donohue wrote:

When you bless someone, you literally call the force of their infinite self into action.

Invoking or calling a blessing isn’t a casual process. It’s not just a bunch of spiritual-sounding words thrown into the space between me and the other person.

A blessing is soul to soul engagement. It’s their infinite self in union with my infinite self, in the space of the power of now, within which right action emerges.

How to Bless Someone

• Gather yourself together. In other words, settle down. Be calm.

• Start off the blessing by saying: ‘May you . . . ’

• Choose your words carefully. Make each word count.

  
  

• Mean what you say.

There’s no need to rush.

If someone knows that a blessing from your soul to theirs is on its way, they’ll wait for it.

Everyone wants a blessing.

With love, Marlane