Here's why
A couple of days ago I ran out of St Dalfour Apricot Fruit Spread. I also ran out of Baileys Premium Potting Mix, Pink Lady apples, Antibacterial Hand Wipes, and Patience.
My weekly shopping trip to Albany solved all these shortages except for Patience, because Patience can’t be bought.
I demonstrate I’ve run out of patience in many ways. I race ahead of my husband along shopping aisles. I often eat too fast, occasionally drive too fast, and always talk too fast. If my coffee wasn’t so hot I’d drink it too fast. If I could, I’d dry myself before having a shower, read letters before they were out of the envelope, and open presents while they were still in the hands of the giver. And in a few weeks I’ll probably be saying, ‘I can’t wait for Christmas!’.
I’m always trying to be at least one step ahead of myself because I believe that where I’m not yet must be much better than where I am now.
But it never is.
Why not?
Because by the time I get to where I haven’t been yet, I’m impatiently looking ahead again, believing, as usual, that where I’m not yet must be much better than where I finally am now.
And so my life stumbles over itself in my rush to be anywhere but here, anywhen but now.
I’m sure many of you can identify with this common human experience.
Impatiently Waiting for Flowers to Grow
I have a strong childhood memory of watching my mother plant her favourite flower seedings in the long red-brick planter on our front verandah. They were stocks, and I knew from past years that they produced masses of purple, pink and blue flowers on tall stems that made the air smell sweet when a warm wind blew.
‘How long will they take to grow flowers?’ I asked, thinking that they didn’t look very impressive in their current short, green state, barely peeping over the rim of the planter.
‘Oh, about ten weeks,’ Mum said, forking the soil to soften it for the thin, fragile roots of the seedlings.
Ten weeks! I was shocked. To my eight-year-old mind it sounded like forever. I wanted to see flowers popping up this afternoon, or tomorrow morning at the latest!
Mum planted the final seedling, got up off her knees and brushed the soil from her hands.
‘There now,’ she said, looking pleased with her efforts.
‘It doesn’t seem worth doing if it takes that long,’ I said, feeling impatience rise within me as I thought about having to wait ten weeks for results.
‘It’ll be worth it,’ she replied. ‘Just have patience.’
She was right. It was worth it. Over the next ten weeks I watched those little seedlings grow tall and strong day by day until the summer breeze was sweetly scented by purple, pink and blue flowers.
Impatience Is a Form of Madness
We can’t make a flower bloom quicker than it can.
We can’t speed up the growth of a fledgling blue wren.
We can’t hurry ourselves into tomorrow, or next week, or next year.
All we can do is live in this moment.
Impatience doesn’t like this moment. Impatience wants something other than what this moment holds.
So impatience really is a form of madness because it means we’re wanting something that is impossible.
Where Does Impatience Come From?
Impatience doesn’t come from the situation we find ourselves in. It comes from our thoughts about the situation.
Our thoughts generate impatience just like a volcano generates lava, sulphur gas, and ash, spewing them into the atmosphere and making life unpleasant for those nearby.
My husband walking calmly down the shopping aisle while pushing the loaded trolley doesn’t generate impatience. My volcanic thoughts about the situation do that. Why doesn’t he walk faster? We have a lot of other shops to visit after this one! Why can’t he keep up with me? If we don’t hurry up we’ll be driving home into the blinding setting sun!
These thoughts, almost as deadly as lava, sulphur gas, and ash, spill into the aisles. People move aside when they see me coming. I don’t look like a safe area to be in. They’re right. I’m emitting sizzling signs of madness.
Impatience messes up the present.
It clutters it with annoyance, anger, and unhelpful actions.
Where Does Patience Come From?
Impatient people often say, ‘I’m running out of patience!’
But it’s impossible to run out of patience.
Patience never dries up. It is a limitless resource, available to all who want some.
There’s a bottomless well of the stuff deep inside us. All we have to do is drop down our empty bucket and fill it up again.
Ah! Here it comes. Full to the brim and sloshing over the sides. There are oodles of it and it’s always there. We just have to access it.
Patience is another word for Presence.
Me in the Shopping Aisle
Back to me in the shopping aisle, feeling my usual impatience.
If I dip into my ever-present well of patience by accepting the slower pace of my companion, I might see something new on the shelves to eat or use. I might bump into less people. I might smile more. I might give off enough peaceful ambience to drown out the in-store music. I might sense the unifying energy flowing through all things. I might spy a bargain!
However, if I really am concerned about the closing time of other stores we need to visit, or the blinding setting sun we might encounter on the long drive home, I could suggest a quicker pace.
But, whatever I choose to do, from now on I will bring patience into the situation.
By being present each moment, my thoughts and my pace will be exactly what is required.
With love, Marlane
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